Jian Hui. Likes
SoccerBowlingany sports, just name itmahjong Idols Lifetime supporter: Michael OwenLiverpool: Steven GerrardTennis: Nadal This may not truly reflect my actual thoughts and feelings at time of writing Past May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 January 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 October 2010 December 2010 February 2011 April 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 August 2013 September 2013 April 2014 December 2017 April 2018 February 2019 July 2019 September 2019 November 2019 Im sorry mum and dad I really didnt know 1 wrong step could cost such a huge damage not only to myself but my loved ones. I really regret so much and want to make amends so badly. Im really sorry mum and dad for letting u all down time and again. I promise i will do better and repay u all a huge favour. I swear with my life. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 11:31 PM Monday, November 18, 2019 __________________________________________________________________ I really am a failure Wrong choices, stubborn, unrepentful.. these ruined me badly. I know i started off taking a wrong step in life and early remedy could have been done to rectify this. However, i took it all upon myself and continued to do wrong. GAMBLE. Once bitten, twice shy is something i didnt adhere. I believed i would have turned the tide. I tried and tried but keep failing. Why couldnt i just turn over a new leaf and live a second chance? I really sincerely feel very bad that my family had to borrow money to salvage me out of the disastrous situation. I really want to work hard and return money to those who lend me. I really am very grateful. But the amount is so huge i believe it will take a few years to repay. I tried to seek a faster repayment only to fail further. Why why why? I am a fucked up kid to my beloved parents, a fucked up husband to my beloved wife. Really 1 mistake in life is all it takes to end it. Never ever GAMBLE. U will only sink deeper and deeper. Now i am really at the end of the world. And i should stop being a burden to anyone who cares about me. Its over there is really no turning back. Enough borrowing and face thrown. I have really failed terribly and have no face to face anyone. I really should disappear from this world and leave that bit of face if there is any. Stop being a burden to my family. Everytime i face my family, i feel that i am such a huge burden to them, not only not able to support them at this age but giving them more trouble to worry. I know the sorrow they feel and it issnt their fault at all. My choice to gamble in life is killing everybody. Whyyyyyy? Im really useless and very useless. Im really sorry dad and mum and bro. U guys did beyond what u could do to help me but i couldn't help myself. Sorry wifey i failed u too. I really wanted to go back to where i started off and quit gambling all together. The mountain of debts will never clear based on my salary. I made a fk up choice only to regret it further. I hope my next life i get to be your kid again and i swear to be filial to you. I will make it up to u. And a better husband as well. Marrying you was a bright spot in my life but i failed to give u a better life. Maybe not knowing me, u would have led a better life. Im really want to do so much for u but i failed in life. A sincere sorry to everyone who helped me. I fucked up. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 2:39 PM Monday, September 2, 2019 __________________________________________________________________ All i want is just peace and serenity All i long for now is just peaceful sleep at night, forgiveness from my loved ones, time and patience to let me make amends for all my wrongdoings. A wrong step in life led to many mistakes down the road, from one minor mistake to bigger and bigger mistakes. Greed, ego, selfishness led to my pathetic situation right now. I was not satisfied with my savings growing so slowly that i chose a wrong way to grow my savings. Gambling it away i did all my savings and i was not done. I thought i just need a chance to recover and deeper i went into this bottomless pit. Ego, the pride i had led me to continue on this daunting journey alone without the assistance of anyone, even hiding it from everyone. I couldnt fail. This is all so selfish thinking on my part. If i had come clean at the start, this wouldn't have happen and my road to amendment would be easier and less painful. Now, things have sunk too deep. It pains me to let down my parents and family. The sorrow they feel right now raising a stupid, selfish 28 year old son must be immense. I really let them down. I dont know if this life i can make amends towards them. Even at my most difficult moments, they stand by me and assure me everything is alright. I am really sorry to make them go through this with me. Sorry mum and dad for this pain. Last night, i can feel that my wife is about to give up on me. A stupid choice to take me as her husband, the disappointment and fear she has to overcome just to stick with me. After all that we have been through, i am glad and grateful that she still sticks by my side. The times i let her down are aplenty and she still chooses to stay by me. I am thankful for that BB! I will change my outlook in life and change to be a person. No matter what, my love for you will always be there. Im sorry for what you have to go through and please bear with me and give me time. My actions have caused vast problems and troubles to many. I sincerely apologise and vow to mend my ways. I will prove it through my actions. I really am a failure :( You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 2:23 PM Monday, July 29, 2019 __________________________________________________________________ I let everybody down A hero is what u are called when u succeed, but a loser and shame will be your result if u fail. And failed terribly i did. It pains me to see the sorrow in my parents, my family and my wife. I really wish there was a reset button whereby i can rewind 5years and start all over again. 1 wrong move in life leads to a lifetime of regret. And now, i am helpless and regretful aplenty. I am sorry for letting so many people down. Just a bane in life can cover all the good you may possess and show everyone how useless and stupid you are. I can only now hope and pray things will get better. I really think my family regret having me a useless child who is so selfish, greedy and inconsiderate. Never done anything good in life and only living life selfishly. My parents slogged so hard for so many years and i cant even let them retire in peace and happiness. They told me it is an expensive lesson and they will do all they can to help me learn but deep down i know they must be thinking how useless a son i am. Luckily i am not the only son they have. Its too late for regrets now and going forward, i can only mend my mistakes and prove to them that i have changed and learnt. I want to make amends for all these years of mistake of misery. And also, to let my beloved wife and my beloved family lead a happy life. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 11:39 AM Wednesday, July 24, 2019 __________________________________________________________________ Family - always there when u need them The reason why i am still able to post here is because, in times of difficulty, my family is there for me. My mum, dad, bro and wife i love u all:) When driven to a corner, with nowhere to go, your family is what you need. Just remember you are never alone. I love my wife and family for the kind gestures in times of need. I am deeply grateful and thankful for this. I will repay you guys in the near future. Found a new lease of life and i will strive on this new path. A second chance in life does not come easy. Thanks! You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 9:57 PM Friday, February 22, 2019 __________________________________________________________________ Tired Im tired of following up lies after lies. Once you start a lie, it takes 100 other lies to cover up the 1st lie. The day has come to stop all these. A peaceful night of sleep is all i crave for right now. No lies, no calls, no debts, no messages. Just peace. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 4:41 PM __________________________________________________________________ Last words I ruined everything. All our future all our dreams. I deeply regret but its too late. Chances were given but i did not take them. I really didnt mean for this to happen. Sorry. Doesnt matter how many sorry i say.. its not enough. Sorry mum and dad for letting u raise a useless child. This life, i failed to make you both proud. Bb im sorry for all this. Marrying you was perhaps 1 of my life's brightest moment. But your misfortune for getting a useless guy as your husband. Gambling was the bane of my life and i wasnt able to get rid of it. I lost so much until i was not able to quit as there was no way i could pay my outstanding based on salary. And low n behold, i fell deeper. I really love u for who u r and i deeply regret gambling at the start.. im at my wits end now and there is no turning back. 来世再见. Im too ashamed to face the world already. This life i failed you all terribly. Next life i still hope to be your son. I love u all. Sorry. Mum and dad and lil bro, im sorry for letting u guys down so much. I wanted all of us to have a better life and it worked out at the start. However, things got worse and i gambled way too much. To the point that i wanna quit but cant becoz that was the only way i could clear my huge debts. I didnt want u all to know how useless i am. Every night i dont have any peaceful night sleep because of this. To my friends who lend me money to tide through a difficult period, im really grateful for the trust u had in me. I misused the trust for my own selfishness. In the end, it still didnt pay off and i only got myself to blame. This life i owe u guys. Next, i will return. Just thankful i have u guys as friends and i will not forget. I only thought for myself and it really is a selfish act. I do not seek your forgiveness for i do not deserve it. Sorry for your monetary loss and your trust in me. I have reached the end of the road but u guys continue walking and strive. Sorry once again. Goodbye world. My selfish acts have left me no choice but to end this. There is no turning back. I do not wish to be a burden to my family and wife. I deserve the state i am in right now. I had chances to amend it but i did not take. The one i am most sorry to is my wife. She scolded and warned me many times and i always brushed it aside. She should be the most disappointed. At least now, she has one less burden to worry about. Find a new one and lead a happier life bb.. mum and dad and lil bro, i really enjoyed the times we spend tgt and i really love to bring u all on a trip overseas together. It has been a long time. Not only did i fail to achieve it, i have become a burden to u guys even at such an old age u cannot enjoy life. Im really sorry for u raise a useless child. Life has come to an end for me but u guys stay strong alright. Live life happily. To be able to sleep peacefully at night is already a hidden blessing. Dont have to be rich to enjoy life. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 4:09 PM __________________________________________________________________ I miss you As i go through our memories together, i really feel more and more sorry. Pictures of you smiling happily evoke more sadness into my heart. I really hope you enjoyed the times spent together with me, for i can accompany you till here. 1 mistake in life is enough to ruin everything. Sorry BB! You were so forgiving, trustworthy and everything i could ask for in a wife. U think of me in everything u do but i cant say the same for myself. It makes me sad. The time has come for me to go. It is a cowardly act and one that i feel i must do to at least stop being a burden anymore. Im sorry for throwing u behind. It issnt something that i want to but its the least i can do to stop cheating you. I dont know what else to say but i dont seek your forgiveness as even me myself cant forgive myself. Live well! I love you. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 4:02 PM __________________________________________________________________ A life full of lies If there is 1 word to describe my life, LIES. I lived my life by this word. Nobody knew of my enormous debts, not my parents, my wife knows 20% maybe, not my close friends and not even my close collegues. I earned a above average annual salary, comfortable enough to live life happily but i was not satisfied. Greed, gamble, lies, cheat and steal all sunk in. It all started small, from taking out a small loan to bigger n bigger debts to the point of no return. From being unable to service the monthly loan, it became desperate to cash advance, licensed money lender and borrowing from friends. My family aint rich but we led a happy life. It was me who ruined everything. Less gambling, i believe i am an almost perfect man. Gambling ruined everything to the point of no return. Sorry family! You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 3:35 PM __________________________________________________________________ Why drag? I should have been gone before cny but it was a happy occasion for many. Why still think of others when i cant even help myself. Maybe its becoz i dont have the guts. Even till the end of the road, i still am selfish and think only for myself. If there is a next life, please let me be a considerate person and think for others. If u ask me, how does it feel when u know your life has reached the end.. i can pen my feelings as of now. Helpless, regrets, confused, lost, sad and the worst of it, the feeling of letting down to kin to me. Im sorry to my parents for wasting 28 years of their lives raising me, the efforts and time spent grooming be to be someone useful. I failed terribly. Unfilial, selfish, unthoughtful, greedy, lazy and many more terms i can associate with myself. Thanks for letting me lead a happy and peaceful life. U all gave your best but i screwed up. Im sorry to my wife for wasting 4years of her life knowing someone who didnt help her much or improve her life. Being a burden and dragging her down with me. It wasnt my intention BB. Thanks for trying to guide my back to the right path but my ego and greed was too much for even myself to handle. I always thought i can do it but in fact, i was living in denial. Im sorry to my little bro for leaving u alone to take care of mum and dad. U are at least a sensible boy unlike me. Take good care of yourself and mum and dad. Im sorry to all my friends especially those who lend a helping hand when i asked for it. Im sorry for your monetary loss but i really deeply appreciate the help. This life i cant return u guys so sorry. I broke the trust we had because i was at my wits end, lost and confused. I shouldnt have. Thanks and goodbye. To my close bros, i did not dare ask for the matter of fact i still have some paiseh-ness within me. At least the little face i have within me before i depart. Thanks for the memories. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 3:16 PM __________________________________________________________________ 19 oct 1991 to 22 feb 2019 Its all too late.. 后悔莫及何必当初。life is a gamble. Ya it really is and i failed life terribly. Letting down myself wasnt an issue, but the people i let down so close to me i feel bad, really bad. All the trust they had in me, gone just like that. As 1 friend said, i am a compulsive liar. He issnt wrong a bit at all. Till the end, i did not change. Im sorry bro for the trust u had in me. U were right. Running away probably issnt the best idea but its the only solution i have. At least let me grow some last guts to perish this useless human being from this earth. I have lost alot of trust and friends with the decisions i made in my last few moments of life. I should not have done what i did. Last words of advice for whoever who reads this: do not gamble or you will end up gambling your life away like me. Live life happily and be glad every night u can sleep peacefully in your bed. It really is a blessing, something i have not experienced for the past few years. Ciaos. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 2:43 PM __________________________________________________________________ Many wrong steps in life In life, you have many chances to right a wrong. I did not take the chances and continued on the wrong path. Now at my wits end, drowned with all the debts i have, it is time that i end this misery. 1 wrong step from the beginning got me hooked onto gambling and life has been downhill since. Getting married was one of the brightest moment of my life, but gambling ruined it all. I do not have the face to face anyone, not this life. I am sorry to however i let down, to whoever who actually feels sad that i left. Im sorry dad and mum and little bro, times spent aint long and i still was looking forward to bring u all on a overseas trip together. Im sorry that i failed to achieve this simple task. There is no turning back for i have sunk too deep. Sorry everyone! Mum and dad i tried to give u guys a better life but i failed again and again. Im sorry. I am not a filial son this lifetime but i hope to be your son again next life. I had to do it to recover what i lost. My wife beared with my bad habits throughout hoping i had turn over a new leaf. But i tried..really tried. I gambled as that was the only way to clear the debts. If given a chance, i wouldn't have touched gambling back then. For the past few years, there was no 1 night that i slept peacefully. Yes i always sleep late, but its not because i dont want to. But my mind is too preoccupied. Sayonara.. till we meet again You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 12:35 AM __________________________________________________________________ What could have been Regrets.... Throwback.... Remorse.... If only i could turn back time....mistakes lead to regrets....its too late You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 12:34 AM __________________________________________________________________ Please make 2018 be my best year ever! All these years, I have been under too much comfort and shelter that i take it for granted. Regrets, mistakes fill my heart to the point of no return. If there is a chance to reset, I really wish I could turn back time a little and learn from these stupid steps I took. 2018. The year of turning back. At least to the point where I make my mistake. Please 2018 be good to me. I know I may have trodded on the wrong path but bring me back alright. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 12:34 AM __________________________________________________________________ Tough times Shit happens. And when you are naive, u get taken advantage of. Praying hard this shit goes by quickly. Stressssz! Greed for sales, not thinking smart enough, doing things by left wouldnt help in your cause. I guess i will have to learn this lesson the hard way. When in times of difficulty, at least i know someone still stands by me, giving me the support i need. I have let myself and many ppl down and i deeply am sorry and regret my non-thinking. Really no free lunch in this world. Want sales, do it right and not wait for durian. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 12:14 PM Thursday, April 12, 2018 __________________________________________________________________
Lifetime supporter: Michael OwenLiverpool: Steven GerrardTennis: Nadal This may not truly reflect my actual thoughts and feelings at time of writing Past May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 January 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 October 2010 December 2010 February 2011 April 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 August 2013 September 2013 April 2014 December 2017 April 2018 February 2019 July 2019 September 2019 November 2019 Im sorry mum and dad I really didnt know 1 wrong step could cost such a huge damage not only to myself but my loved ones. I really regret so much and want to make amends so badly. Im really sorry mum and dad for letting u all down time and again. I promise i will do better and repay u all a huge favour. I swear with my life. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 11:31 PM Monday, November 18, 2019 __________________________________________________________________ I really am a failure Wrong choices, stubborn, unrepentful.. these ruined me badly. I know i started off taking a wrong step in life and early remedy could have been done to rectify this. However, i took it all upon myself and continued to do wrong. GAMBLE. Once bitten, twice shy is something i didnt adhere. I believed i would have turned the tide. I tried and tried but keep failing. Why couldnt i just turn over a new leaf and live a second chance? I really sincerely feel very bad that my family had to borrow money to salvage me out of the disastrous situation. I really want to work hard and return money to those who lend me. I really am very grateful. But the amount is so huge i believe it will take a few years to repay. I tried to seek a faster repayment only to fail further. Why why why? I am a fucked up kid to my beloved parents, a fucked up husband to my beloved wife. Really 1 mistake in life is all it takes to end it. Never ever GAMBLE. U will only sink deeper and deeper. Now i am really at the end of the world. And i should stop being a burden to anyone who cares about me. Its over there is really no turning back. Enough borrowing and face thrown. I have really failed terribly and have no face to face anyone. I really should disappear from this world and leave that bit of face if there is any. Stop being a burden to my family. Everytime i face my family, i feel that i am such a huge burden to them, not only not able to support them at this age but giving them more trouble to worry. I know the sorrow they feel and it issnt their fault at all. My choice to gamble in life is killing everybody. Whyyyyyy? Im really useless and very useless. Im really sorry dad and mum and bro. U guys did beyond what u could do to help me but i couldn't help myself. Sorry wifey i failed u too. I really wanted to go back to where i started off and quit gambling all together. The mountain of debts will never clear based on my salary. I made a fk up choice only to regret it further. I hope my next life i get to be your kid again and i swear to be filial to you. I will make it up to u. And a better husband as well. Marrying you was a bright spot in my life but i failed to give u a better life. Maybe not knowing me, u would have led a better life. Im really want to do so much for u but i failed in life. A sincere sorry to everyone who helped me. I fucked up. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 2:39 PM Monday, September 2, 2019 __________________________________________________________________ All i want is just peace and serenity All i long for now is just peaceful sleep at night, forgiveness from my loved ones, time and patience to let me make amends for all my wrongdoings. A wrong step in life led to many mistakes down the road, from one minor mistake to bigger and bigger mistakes. Greed, ego, selfishness led to my pathetic situation right now. I was not satisfied with my savings growing so slowly that i chose a wrong way to grow my savings. Gambling it away i did all my savings and i was not done. I thought i just need a chance to recover and deeper i went into this bottomless pit. Ego, the pride i had led me to continue on this daunting journey alone without the assistance of anyone, even hiding it from everyone. I couldnt fail. This is all so selfish thinking on my part. If i had come clean at the start, this wouldn't have happen and my road to amendment would be easier and less painful. Now, things have sunk too deep. It pains me to let down my parents and family. The sorrow they feel right now raising a stupid, selfish 28 year old son must be immense. I really let them down. I dont know if this life i can make amends towards them. Even at my most difficult moments, they stand by me and assure me everything is alright. I am really sorry to make them go through this with me. Sorry mum and dad for this pain. Last night, i can feel that my wife is about to give up on me. A stupid choice to take me as her husband, the disappointment and fear she has to overcome just to stick with me. After all that we have been through, i am glad and grateful that she still sticks by my side. The times i let her down are aplenty and she still chooses to stay by me. I am thankful for that BB! I will change my outlook in life and change to be a person. No matter what, my love for you will always be there. Im sorry for what you have to go through and please bear with me and give me time. My actions have caused vast problems and troubles to many. I sincerely apologise and vow to mend my ways. I will prove it through my actions. I really am a failure :( You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 2:23 PM Monday, July 29, 2019 __________________________________________________________________ I let everybody down A hero is what u are called when u succeed, but a loser and shame will be your result if u fail. And failed terribly i did. It pains me to see the sorrow in my parents, my family and my wife. I really wish there was a reset button whereby i can rewind 5years and start all over again. 1 wrong move in life leads to a lifetime of regret. And now, i am helpless and regretful aplenty. I am sorry for letting so many people down. Just a bane in life can cover all the good you may possess and show everyone how useless and stupid you are. I can only now hope and pray things will get better. I really think my family regret having me a useless child who is so selfish, greedy and inconsiderate. Never done anything good in life and only living life selfishly. My parents slogged so hard for so many years and i cant even let them retire in peace and happiness. They told me it is an expensive lesson and they will do all they can to help me learn but deep down i know they must be thinking how useless a son i am. Luckily i am not the only son they have. Its too late for regrets now and going forward, i can only mend my mistakes and prove to them that i have changed and learnt. I want to make amends for all these years of mistake of misery. And also, to let my beloved wife and my beloved family lead a happy life. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 11:39 AM Wednesday, July 24, 2019 __________________________________________________________________ Family - always there when u need them The reason why i am still able to post here is because, in times of difficulty, my family is there for me. My mum, dad, bro and wife i love u all:) When driven to a corner, with nowhere to go, your family is what you need. Just remember you are never alone. I love my wife and family for the kind gestures in times of need. I am deeply grateful and thankful for this. I will repay you guys in the near future. Found a new lease of life and i will strive on this new path. A second chance in life does not come easy. Thanks! You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 9:57 PM Friday, February 22, 2019 __________________________________________________________________ Tired Im tired of following up lies after lies. Once you start a lie, it takes 100 other lies to cover up the 1st lie. The day has come to stop all these. A peaceful night of sleep is all i crave for right now. No lies, no calls, no debts, no messages. Just peace. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 4:41 PM __________________________________________________________________ Last words I ruined everything. All our future all our dreams. I deeply regret but its too late. Chances were given but i did not take them. I really didnt mean for this to happen. Sorry. Doesnt matter how many sorry i say.. its not enough. Sorry mum and dad for letting u raise a useless child. This life, i failed to make you both proud. Bb im sorry for all this. Marrying you was perhaps 1 of my life's brightest moment. But your misfortune for getting a useless guy as your husband. Gambling was the bane of my life and i wasnt able to get rid of it. I lost so much until i was not able to quit as there was no way i could pay my outstanding based on salary. And low n behold, i fell deeper. I really love u for who u r and i deeply regret gambling at the start.. im at my wits end now and there is no turning back. 来世再见. Im too ashamed to face the world already. This life i failed you all terribly. Next life i still hope to be your son. I love u all. Sorry. Mum and dad and lil bro, im sorry for letting u guys down so much. I wanted all of us to have a better life and it worked out at the start. However, things got worse and i gambled way too much. To the point that i wanna quit but cant becoz that was the only way i could clear my huge debts. I didnt want u all to know how useless i am. Every night i dont have any peaceful night sleep because of this. To my friends who lend me money to tide through a difficult period, im really grateful for the trust u had in me. I misused the trust for my own selfishness. In the end, it still didnt pay off and i only got myself to blame. This life i owe u guys. Next, i will return. Just thankful i have u guys as friends and i will not forget. I only thought for myself and it really is a selfish act. I do not seek your forgiveness for i do not deserve it. Sorry for your monetary loss and your trust in me. I have reached the end of the road but u guys continue walking and strive. Sorry once again. Goodbye world. My selfish acts have left me no choice but to end this. There is no turning back. I do not wish to be a burden to my family and wife. I deserve the state i am in right now. I had chances to amend it but i did not take. The one i am most sorry to is my wife. She scolded and warned me many times and i always brushed it aside. She should be the most disappointed. At least now, she has one less burden to worry about. Find a new one and lead a happier life bb.. mum and dad and lil bro, i really enjoyed the times we spend tgt and i really love to bring u all on a trip overseas together. It has been a long time. Not only did i fail to achieve it, i have become a burden to u guys even at such an old age u cannot enjoy life. Im really sorry for u raise a useless child. Life has come to an end for me but u guys stay strong alright. Live life happily. To be able to sleep peacefully at night is already a hidden blessing. Dont have to be rich to enjoy life. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 4:09 PM __________________________________________________________________ I miss you As i go through our memories together, i really feel more and more sorry. Pictures of you smiling happily evoke more sadness into my heart. I really hope you enjoyed the times spent together with me, for i can accompany you till here. 1 mistake in life is enough to ruin everything. Sorry BB! You were so forgiving, trustworthy and everything i could ask for in a wife. U think of me in everything u do but i cant say the same for myself. It makes me sad. The time has come for me to go. It is a cowardly act and one that i feel i must do to at least stop being a burden anymore. Im sorry for throwing u behind. It issnt something that i want to but its the least i can do to stop cheating you. I dont know what else to say but i dont seek your forgiveness as even me myself cant forgive myself. Live well! I love you. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 4:02 PM __________________________________________________________________ A life full of lies If there is 1 word to describe my life, LIES. I lived my life by this word. Nobody knew of my enormous debts, not my parents, my wife knows 20% maybe, not my close friends and not even my close collegues. I earned a above average annual salary, comfortable enough to live life happily but i was not satisfied. Greed, gamble, lies, cheat and steal all sunk in. It all started small, from taking out a small loan to bigger n bigger debts to the point of no return. From being unable to service the monthly loan, it became desperate to cash advance, licensed money lender and borrowing from friends. My family aint rich but we led a happy life. It was me who ruined everything. Less gambling, i believe i am an almost perfect man. Gambling ruined everything to the point of no return. Sorry family! You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 3:35 PM __________________________________________________________________ Why drag? I should have been gone before cny but it was a happy occasion for many. Why still think of others when i cant even help myself. Maybe its becoz i dont have the guts. Even till the end of the road, i still am selfish and think only for myself. If there is a next life, please let me be a considerate person and think for others. If u ask me, how does it feel when u know your life has reached the end.. i can pen my feelings as of now. Helpless, regrets, confused, lost, sad and the worst of it, the feeling of letting down to kin to me. Im sorry to my parents for wasting 28 years of their lives raising me, the efforts and time spent grooming be to be someone useful. I failed terribly. Unfilial, selfish, unthoughtful, greedy, lazy and many more terms i can associate with myself. Thanks for letting me lead a happy and peaceful life. U all gave your best but i screwed up. Im sorry to my wife for wasting 4years of her life knowing someone who didnt help her much or improve her life. Being a burden and dragging her down with me. It wasnt my intention BB. Thanks for trying to guide my back to the right path but my ego and greed was too much for even myself to handle. I always thought i can do it but in fact, i was living in denial. Im sorry to my little bro for leaving u alone to take care of mum and dad. U are at least a sensible boy unlike me. Take good care of yourself and mum and dad. Im sorry to all my friends especially those who lend a helping hand when i asked for it. Im sorry for your monetary loss but i really deeply appreciate the help. This life i cant return u guys so sorry. I broke the trust we had because i was at my wits end, lost and confused. I shouldnt have. Thanks and goodbye. To my close bros, i did not dare ask for the matter of fact i still have some paiseh-ness within me. At least the little face i have within me before i depart. Thanks for the memories. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 3:16 PM __________________________________________________________________ 19 oct 1991 to 22 feb 2019 Its all too late.. 后悔莫及何必当初。life is a gamble. Ya it really is and i failed life terribly. Letting down myself wasnt an issue, but the people i let down so close to me i feel bad, really bad. All the trust they had in me, gone just like that. As 1 friend said, i am a compulsive liar. He issnt wrong a bit at all. Till the end, i did not change. Im sorry bro for the trust u had in me. U were right. Running away probably issnt the best idea but its the only solution i have. At least let me grow some last guts to perish this useless human being from this earth. I have lost alot of trust and friends with the decisions i made in my last few moments of life. I should not have done what i did. Last words of advice for whoever who reads this: do not gamble or you will end up gambling your life away like me. Live life happily and be glad every night u can sleep peacefully in your bed. It really is a blessing, something i have not experienced for the past few years. Ciaos. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 2:43 PM __________________________________________________________________ Many wrong steps in life In life, you have many chances to right a wrong. I did not take the chances and continued on the wrong path. Now at my wits end, drowned with all the debts i have, it is time that i end this misery. 1 wrong step from the beginning got me hooked onto gambling and life has been downhill since. Getting married was one of the brightest moment of my life, but gambling ruined it all. I do not have the face to face anyone, not this life. I am sorry to however i let down, to whoever who actually feels sad that i left. Im sorry dad and mum and little bro, times spent aint long and i still was looking forward to bring u all on a overseas trip together. Im sorry that i failed to achieve this simple task. There is no turning back for i have sunk too deep. Sorry everyone! Mum and dad i tried to give u guys a better life but i failed again and again. Im sorry. I am not a filial son this lifetime but i hope to be your son again next life. I had to do it to recover what i lost. My wife beared with my bad habits throughout hoping i had turn over a new leaf. But i tried..really tried. I gambled as that was the only way to clear the debts. If given a chance, i wouldn't have touched gambling back then. For the past few years, there was no 1 night that i slept peacefully. Yes i always sleep late, but its not because i dont want to. But my mind is too preoccupied. Sayonara.. till we meet again You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 12:35 AM __________________________________________________________________ What could have been Regrets.... Throwback.... Remorse.... If only i could turn back time....mistakes lead to regrets....its too late You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 12:34 AM __________________________________________________________________ Please make 2018 be my best year ever! All these years, I have been under too much comfort and shelter that i take it for granted. Regrets, mistakes fill my heart to the point of no return. If there is a chance to reset, I really wish I could turn back time a little and learn from these stupid steps I took. 2018. The year of turning back. At least to the point where I make my mistake. Please 2018 be good to me. I know I may have trodded on the wrong path but bring me back alright. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 12:34 AM __________________________________________________________________ Tough times Shit happens. And when you are naive, u get taken advantage of. Praying hard this shit goes by quickly. Stressssz! Greed for sales, not thinking smart enough, doing things by left wouldnt help in your cause. I guess i will have to learn this lesson the hard way. When in times of difficulty, at least i know someone still stands by me, giving me the support i need. I have let myself and many ppl down and i deeply am sorry and regret my non-thinking. Really no free lunch in this world. Want sales, do it right and not wait for durian. You'll Never Walk Alone~* Wise up and buck up!! the future is yours to create..* 12:14 PM Thursday, April 12, 2018 __________________________________________________________________
